NCIS goes Big Brother
by TellyandTanz
Summary: 16 people from NCIS are in the Big Brother house, who will hook up? who will go insane by the end of it and who gets voted off? some slash.
1. Chapter 1

**NCIS and others big brother**

16 characters from the show are in the big brother house, who will hook up, who will get voted off and who will go insane before the end of it?

"Hello my name is Leon Vance and welcome to big brother season, well, who really knows or cares what number season this is, I'm the director of NCIS and your host." the applause from the audience is deafening and it doesn't die down for a good few minutes, leaving the director annoyed, hands on hips tapping his foot impatiently.

"Let's begin with who will be living in the Big Brother house this season." the grin that spreads across Vance's face can only be described as pure evil.

Turning his back to the audience they he leaves the main studio and heads into the house.

"In room 1 is Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Senior agent of the MCRT" Gibbs walks in with a year's worth of coffee. "Donald "Ducky" Mallard, our head ME and the FBI's finest, TC Fornell." the other two men walked in closely behind Gibbs and the three stood outside the door to their new bedroom.

The next three contestants walked into the room before Vance began to speak again.

"Room 2 consists of Fornell's second in command Ron Sacks, Carl the creeper guy and CIA agent gone rogue, Trent Kort" Boos were heard all round as the audience had pre-determined that these three contestants to be the bad guys of the house.

"Room 3 is Gibbs' senior field agent Very Special Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo Jr," the crowed couldn't contain themselves with excitement as they caught a glance of the very attractive Italian as he sauntered into the house with his two room mates "MIT graduate Timothy "Tim" McGee and James "Jimmy" Palmer, the tap dancing autopsy gremlin, oh sorry ME's assitant.

Room 4 is our 'daddy' room, allround good guy and Jethro's father Jackson Gibbs, Director of Mossad and father to the MCRT's newest probie, Eli David and the 'real' Tony, Anthony DiNozzo Sr" group for received mixed audience reactions, while Jack received wolf-whistles from a number of older females in the crowd, Eli and the senior DiNozzo received as many boos as the men from room 2.

"Last but certainly not least is our all ass kicking room of females. Room 5 is Abby Sciuto forensic scientist extraordinaire, assassin and idiom challenged probie Ziva David, acid tongued college student and sister of our resident computer genius Sarah McGee and Special Agent Nikki Jardine" It was Abby's turn to receive wolf whistles as she bounced into the house in a short black mini dress and disturbingly high platform boots.

"Well folks it looks like it is going to be a great season so enjoy the show!" Vance said as he spun around flourishing out his arms like an assistant on Wheel of Fortune.

It was official, the show had begun, even though it wasn't a very exciting start to a reality show:

On one side of the house Gibbs was making his coffee, Ducky was telling Vance a story, Fornell was in the room. Sacks and Kort were talking about who knows what, while Carl was watching the walls.

On the furthest side from the camera Tony was freaking out a bit by the fact his father was in the house too, Tim was keeping a close eye on his little sister and Jimmy was watching Tony for whatever reason.

Seated on the couch in the centre of the room Eli and Sr were busy eyeing each other up, Jackson was reading a book.

Three of the girls were busy taking about the guys in their room while Nikki was busy clearing everything in the house for the 10th time.

It's time for the games start…

…..

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The housemates all appeared to be sound asleep, a variety of dreams playing out in each of their minds, some which would have made very interesting viewing. The house was surprisingly quiet for the first night of a reality show, but somewhere deep down the audience knew it wouldn't last long, hell what fun would reality TV be if it was just a bunch of sleeping federal agents?

The silence was shattered when out of the blue someone shouted at the top of their lungs "YAHOO SPRING BREAK!!" the sound of heavy footsteps pounding down the hallway, waking those that were sleeping.

Leaving their rooms to see what the deal was, the previously sleeping housemates were startled to see Eli David running and jumping around gracelessly in a bight pink G-sting, most of which was swallowed by his massive ass.

An hour later people were still frozen in spot, shocked and horrified by the ghastly sight; Ziva even more freaked out then the rest, after all it had been her father.

By the time they each started to come out of their frozen states, Anthony DiNozzo Sr was just waking.

The senior DiNozzo wasn't the only one that had missed the spectacle, for some unknown reason Jimmy and Sarah were no where to be found, which had over-protective big brother Tim more than a little worried.

Trent and Sacks sneaked back into there room unnoticed, planning something diabolically evil and roommate Carl, the only one not freaked out by what had just happened, still had eyes trained solely on Eli.

Gibbs and Jackson were fighting over the last of the coffee in the pot, the way only a stubborn son and his equally stubborn father could, neither giving a second thought to the fact that there was a load of coffee shoved into almost every nook and cranny of the heavily watched house.

Fornell was looking for Sacks, while Ducky was also looking for Jimmy, both men being interrupted by Nikki physically moving them out of her path, as she once again made her OCD known.

Abby and Tony were outside doing who knows what, both just out of the cameras prying gaze.

Back in the house, Eli was now fully dressed, acting as if nothing had happened and now playing a game of poker with DiNozzo Sr.

Lets just say its going to be a long day.

Just after dinner Tim was still looking for his sister and Jimmy, hearing sounds coming from the closet. Walking up to the door he opened it and was about to yell "get off my sister" but yelled "Oh MY GOD" when he saw who was really in there.

*

Meanwhile south of the border, down Mexico way, a certain ex-NCIS agent named Mike Franks was watching the happenings of the lively bunch, "Gotta love reality TV" he laugh raising his almost empty bottle of beer towards the television set.

…

TBC

Who's getting busy in the Closet?


	3. Chapter 3

Big brother part 3

When the other house mates came running at sounds of horrified screams, they too were startled at the sight of the couple in the closet… in a VERY compromising position.

"DAD!!" Ziva screamed upon seeing her father and Anthony DiNozzo Sr trying to put on their pants, didn't help that they got there trousers mixed up with senior splitting Eli's black Armani's down the middle.

Carl was giving sr a evil look, how dare that bastard steal _his_ man. He was fuming and stormed off to plot his revenge.

_Meanwhile outside:_

Tony and Abby were up to something, they pair had been whispering like two little school girls when no one was looking and were continually sneaking off.

Tony had seen Eli and his dad go into the closet about an hour ago and thought it would be the perfect time for him and the Goth to sneak of and put their plan into motion. Honestly the junior of the two didn't care that his father was getting' jiggy wit his partner's father, after all he was used to his father's crazy antics. Plus it gave him something to use against Ziva.

"OK we got everything? Because I swear to you Tonyboy if this doesn't go to plan then there will be big trouble! And by big trouble I mean one of two things, one some EXTREME bodily harm, or two, I will kill you and not leave a trace of evidence! As I have proved tonight I know where ALL the camera's blind spots are and I'm not afraid to use them! Got it mister!" asked a hyper Abby

"Sure do Abs… read you loud and clear." Tony answered "we've got everything we need and I have just a little more work to do and we are done!"

_Back inside _

Ziva was in her room rocking crying 'NO' over and over. She had gone into a state much like Bart Simpson had in that one episode of the Simpson's where Bart and Lisa went to Kamp Krusty and Krusty wasn't there… you know the one I'm talking about.

Eli and Sr were moved into the closet for the rest of their stay in the Big Brother house, their now ex-roommate Jackson Gibbs didn't want that freaky shit happening in his room, no way no how!

Fornell had tried to escape, unluckily for him the massive fences were electrified and it would have been easier to escape Alcatraz then it would that damned house. NO ONE escapes the Big Brother house! The shock from the gate had not only caused his fuzzy beard to ignite, but also earned him the nickname French Fry from his one and only friend Gibbs.

Trent and Sacks were in their room when they could see things moving around by themselves, freaking out they ran into the living room, yelling at the top of their voices something about a ghost, which not shockingly no one believed.

Jimmy and Sarah were found in the hot tub by Ducky, who in turn did not lecture them about having sex but about the history of the hot tub. No one had yet to break the news to the girl's older brother… about Jimmy violating Tim's baby sister (with her consent of course) and not about the fact that the name 'spa' comes from a Walloon word and that Roy Jacuzzi 'marketed the first self-contained, fully integrated whirlpool bath in 1968', though you better be sure that when Ducky let the news slip he would give him the WHOLE history of the Hot Tub*.

Gibbs and the others were busy fighting over the TV when there was a loud BOOM coming from outside which caused everyone in the house to run out to see what happened.

They were all just in time to see the BBQ being shot up into space, while Abby bounced around laughing her head off, pigtails flailing in the night breeze, and Tony curled up in foetal position on the damp grass clutching his face in his hands screaming.

Vance come back into the house "Ok viewers time to start voting who leaves the big brother House"

Tbc

Who's haunting the Big Brother House?

* Note from Thetellyho of twitter: Hot Tub facts used in this piece are 100% true… or at least they probably are… after all how many things on wikipedia really are true? To read about the facts on the Hot Tub used in this chapter and to learn more check out 'History of the Hot Tub' over at everyone's favourite free online encyclopaedia: http(ETC)en(DOT)wikipedia(DOT)org(SLASH)wiki(SLASH)History(UNDERSCORE)of(UNDERSCORE)the(UNDERSCORE)Hot(UNDERSCORE)Tub

Note from TansNZ, now you can vote off someone out of the house. Also a big thanks to Thetellyho for her part in the fic.


End file.
